As I sit here, elevating these loaves of bread I have been calling feet for the last week, I am utterly consumed with a wave of emotions. I am going in for a C-section to welcome our second son into the world and just saying that out loud is still surreal for me. This monumental moment was something I literally believed would not happen again after Nico, but I had come to accept it because Nico stole my heart and I was prepared to only love him fiercely with all my being for the rest of my life.
However, tomorrow I will, once again, open my heart up to a baby boy and I am beside myself with elation. This baby boy has no idea how absolutely loved he is going to be by his mother, his father, but most of all, his big brother. This baby boy also has no idea how much of an impact his presence is going to have on the life of his big brother and for that I am both incredibly excited and unbelievably anxious. I have cried more times than I can count, worried about how this baby boy’s presence may affect my sweet Nico, but I know this was the best decision my husband and I could have ever made for our family and Nico is going to thrive. Nico has so much love to give. He has so much to teach his baby brother and he will learn so much from being a big brother.
And, because I am about to inevitably impact both of my sons’ lives tomorrow I am compelled to make these promises to them:
- I promise to love you unconditionally, without limits, and show you everyday so that you never have to question my love.
- I promise to give each of you the individualized attention you deserve so you always know that I SEE you for who YOU are and what you contribute to my life and this world.
- I promise to teach you both what it means to have your sibling’s back because I will expect you to watch out for each other, learn from each other, and not allow anyone or anything to come in between your sibling bond. Having a sibling is one of the most invaluable gifts any parent could give to their children.
- I promise to protect and advocate for you in whatever way you need me to; you are never expected to struggle alone. Your challenges will be my challenges and we will find a solution together.
- I promise to not expect that the two of you will always get along or want to spend time together no matter how important your sibling bond is to me. I know you love each other.
- I promise to never allow either of you to feel like you are being loved less or favored more than the other. You both have made my life infinitely better equally.
- I promise to be honest with you so you value the power of honesty and confide in me openly. I understand that I will not know everything that goes on in your life nor do I need to know everything, but I want you to always be able to share things with me when you know you need guidance, advice, or just someone to listen.
- I promise to love and respect your father and show you everyday what a loving partnership looks like because having a partner in life makes living that much more rewarding. Your father is my forever partner, friend, and lover and I want all of that in someone for you.
- I promise to surround you with family so that you come to love, appreciate, and depend on your family as much as your father and I do. Your family is your lifeline and you must always find time for them. They will love you like no other.
- I promise to be the best example of what a mother should be so that you not only respect and value your relationship with me, but experience a little bit of who your maternal grandmother was and what makes her absence so impactful for me. I hope that you never have to experience my absence and to ensure that I will promise to do all that I can to stay healthy and happy for you…always.
- I promise to teach you resilience and what it means to be strong in the midst of hardship and struggle because life will be hard at times. Some challenges will test your resolve. There will come a time where you will want to give up. And, you may experience loss that will feel like it could destroy you, but you will survive it and only become stronger because of it.
You are my most treasured masterpieces and I will give you my all because you deserve nothing less. So my precious boys….here’s to the next big adventure!
Now all mommy has to do is make sure your dad survives the C-section with me. It could be touch and go tomorrow…ha! Oh..how I love you, my men, big and little.